Oprah (on improv): “You have to be 100 percent in the moment.”
Tina Fey: “That’s right…with improv, the focus is clear: You’re supposed to be listening to the other person so you know how to respond. Improv involves a lot of agreement. It’s all about saying yes to the person you’re across from, because if you don’t say yes, the sketch is over. That can even shape your worldview. It breeds positivity.”
The Oprah Magazine, February 2009, Vol. 10, Number 2.
IN LIFE: Let’s say “yes” to what works and build our scene or our lives from there. That doesn’t mean giving up our authenticity, in fact whatever we say “yes” to must be authentic. Daily life provides plenty of opportunity to notice how often we choose affirmations either out loud or internally during our interactions with people. My grandmother, Mary, practiced finding a positive quality about everyone she interacted with, especially when she noticed herself reacting negatively to something or someone.
IN PRACTICE: Start a practice of observing yourself – your attention and your thoughts during one regular interaction over a week. It could be while you are doing errands, conducting business, or out with your dog, etc. During the designated activity watch your attention, thoughts, and feelings, and ask yourself, “Where is my focus in this interaction?” “What positive quality, believable to me right now, can I focus on or am I already appreciating?” “Am I in a ‘yes’ state or a ‘no’ ‘not that’ state?” Notice how your feeling state changes as you choose new thoughts. Observe your focus with people who push your buttons. For example, a friend decided today that on his commute to work he would develop a more positive inner dialogue especially when he sees the highway patrol. After several negative experiences being cut off by patrol cars, he has developed a negative expectation on the highway. His intention is to make a habit of observing his focus, focus on positive qualities, and arrive to work feeling centered. It takes practice, but our expectations are malleable and our joy maintainable, regardless of what others are up to!
This is an everyday practice for me and I am learning to laugh with it. When my buttons get pushed, it’s more fun to be light about it, plus, I know I asked for it and it can be my joy or “job” (my choice) to practice coming back to center and allow well-being to run my life.