Follow Your Inner Compass

Stuck?  How do you respond?

Struggle…

Follow others…

Whatever first comes to mind…

Another option:  start to observe yourself in daily life.  Notice when and how you get stuck.  Try something new.  Find a coach, teacher, mentor, or friend to support you in this process.

Some of the time, I am unconsciously moving through life out of habit, and more and more of the time, I am choosing my course, aware when I get stuck, and sailing out of it unharmed and grateful.  AND I still get stuck.  All my wise teachers have said that this is going to happen our entire lives, it’s how we respond that makes life pleasant or painful!

I know it’s up to me to take full responsibility for sailing my life course.  So, like strengthening a muscle at the gym I build strength in my capacity to make decisions from my “center”…through practice, practice, and more practice (I can share more about this if you are interested.  Currently I am working with an incredible teacher on the subject, Wendy Palmer).  It also helps to choose an attitude of compassion (especially for yourself) and a commitment to learn from whatever happens.  “A ship is safe in harbor but that’s not what ships are built for.”

The Outward Bound group in the photo sailed into unnavigable waters (about a foot deep) and had to find their way out.  It took hours.  Some got angry, some gave up, some took charge.  Eventually, they pulled together and did it.  We could have warned them or showed them how to get out, but we choose to support their learning experience instead; an opportunity to practice the ability to center during breakdowns and know new possibilities.

PRACTICE IDEA: 1.  Notice the next time you find yourself in a tight spot, in a breakdown, or in the unknown.

2.  Pause and self-observe what is happening in you.  Thoughts, feelings, physical sensations.  You can name what you notice, discomfort, fear, embarrassment, anger, etc.  It doesn’t matter “why” it’s there, naming it can help dissolve some of the contraction in the moment and help you relax.

3.  Then take a few moments (10 minutes) to meditate.  Doesn’t matter if you’ve done this before…anyone can meditate.  Just set your watch or cell phone, sit somewhere in a relaxed position (can be at your desk in a chair), sit with upright posture, eyes closed, breathe normally, let thoughts come and go, and focus on gently breathing in and out.

4.  Afterward, ask yourself a few questions.  Do I feel a change and relaxation in my body?  Are new ideas forming about how to proceed?  What might be helpful now?  You may not feel completely relaxed or different…however, you may feel slightly more relaxed and that may free your mind and body to choose a more skillful reaction.  Or you may notice that you want to take some more time to center before doing anything.  This is a really valuable awareness and skill…take more time in centering practices like meditation, go for a walk, listen to your body, be silent, etc.  Many relationship issues dissolve when both people are committed to these practices.